How the Same Page check works
- You answer 12 short questions.
- You send the link to your partner.
- Your partner answers without seeing your answers.
- You both see the result: green = you agree, orange = let’s talk, with a calm question to start the talk.
The answers travel inside the link. We store nothing.
Every couple tool is started by the pregnant partner and works only with what each person chooses to share. Nothing tracks anyone. If you do not feel safe at home, see Need help?.
The 12 questions
The birth and the first weeks
- Who can visit in the first week after the birth?
- How long should visits be?
- Who is in the delivery room?
- Who looks after our older children during the birth?
Family, visitors and traditions
- Should a mother or mother-in-law stay with us after the birth?
- Naming ceremony or celebration?
- When do we announce the birth, and how?
- How do we choose the baby’s name?
Home, money and nights
- Who does the housework in late pregnancy and after?
- Baby things: new or second-hand?
- Who takes leave from work, and when?
- Who wakes up at night?
When your answers are different
Orange is not a problem. It shows where to talk before the baby comes, when you still have time and sleep. Pick one orange topic, use the calm question we give you, and agree on a plan you can try. Our guide has things to discuss before the baby arrives.
Questions people ask
Who should be in the delivery room?
The person giving birth chooses her birth partner or partners (NHS). Ask your maternity unit early how many birth partners they allow.
Should family stay with us after the birth?
There is no right answer. Talk about how long, which help is really useful, and what each of you needs to rest.
How do we talk about this without fighting?
One topic at a time, on a calm day. Ask what worries your partner before you give your view.
Can my partner see my answers before answering?
Not on the page: the answers show only after both of you have answered. They are inside the link, so please send it only to your partner.
What if we disagree on many things?
That is normal and useful to know early. Use the talk starters, one topic at a time, on a calm day.
What if one of us feels low or anxious?
Talk to your GP, midwife or health visitor. Fathers and partners can also have depression after a baby (NHS). See support for partners.
Read the full guide: Same Page check
Sources
- NHS: Tips for your birthing partner or partners · checked October 26, 2026
- NHS: Postnatal depression · checked October 26, 2026