How to ask your partner for help during pregnancy

Name one clear need

“I need rest tonight” is easier to act on than “You never help.” Short and specific works best.

Message ideas

• “I need a long hug when you get home.”
• “Can you cook tonight? Smells are hard for me today.”
• “I need half an hour alone, then I would love to talk.”
• “Can you come to my next appointment?”

For partners: how to respond

• Say thank you for telling you.
• Do it without discussing whether it is needed.
• Ask later how it went.

Send your need with the “Today I need…” card.

Questions people ask

What does a pregnant woman need from her partner?

It changes from day to day: rest, practical help, food, a hug, or someone who listens. The easiest way to know is to ask, or to send one clear need.

How do I tell my partner I need more help?

Choose a calm moment, start with “I”, and name one or two jobs. Agree on a plan and check it again after a week.

What if my partner still does not help?

Talk again on a calm day about what gets in the way. The Same Page check can help you see where you disagree.

Is it OK to ask family and friends too?

Yes. Your partner does not have to do everything. Friends and family are often glad to cook, shop or keep you company.

When should I talk to a professional?

If you are worried about your mental health, talk to your midwife, GP or maternity unit (NHS). If you do not feel safe at home, see Need help?.

Sources

• NHS: Mental health in pregnancy · checked October 26, 2026