Preparing your toddler or older child for a new baby
Preparing a toddler for a new baby starts with small, honest talks. A new baby is a big change for any older child. Jealousy, sadness and “going back a step” are common and normal. These ideas follow advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics.
When and how to tell them
| Age | What helps |
|---|---|
| 1–2 years | Start talking about the baby so they get used to the idea. Read picture books about babies and siblings. |
| 2–4 years | Use natural moments, like shopping for baby things or questions about your tummy. Be honest: babies cry and need a lot of care. |
| 5 years and older | Explain what will change in their day, in words they understand. Let them help prepare. |
Young children cannot picture months. Link the wait to things they know, or count the sleeps together with the big sibling countdown.
Big changes: early, or later
Try to finish big changes, such as toilet training or moving to a big bed or a new room, before the baby arrives. If that is not possible, wait until the baby is settled at home, so your child does not feel “replaced”.
Who looks after them during the birth
Before you leave, tell your child who will look after them and when you will be back. Write their routines down for that person with the babysitter information sheet.
The first meeting
- If possible, have the baby in the cot, not in your arms, so your arms are free to hug your older child first.
- Give a small gift “from the baby”.
- Ask visitors to greet the older child first, and to spend some time with them.
Tell family and friends with the visitor card.
Special time every day
A few minutes of “just you and me” time every day helps a lot. Partners, grandparents and other relatives can also spend time alone with the older child.
Helping with the baby
Small jobs help a child feel important. Younger children can bring a nappy or sit with you during feeds. Older children can help choose clothes. If they ask to hold the baby, show them how and stay close.
Going back a step is normal
Toilet accidents, baby talk or wanting a bottle are common. It is a way of checking that they are still loved. Instead of saying “act your age”, give them attention and praise grown-up behaviour.
If you are worried, or it goes on for a long time, talk to your child’s doctor.
Sources
- HealthyChildren.org (American Academy of Pediatrics): Preparing your older child for a new baby · checked October 26, 2026